Addiction tears relationships apart. I work with couples on their communication skills, setting boundaries, asking for what they want, and making choices that support their relationship rather than undermining it. We believe that if both parties are willing to do the work necessary to rebuild trust, to take responsibility for the damage caused by their behaviors, and to forgive, then recovery can and will happen.
The deeper work involves each partner understanding his or her own family-of-origin issues, as well as their partner’s, and seeing how these play out in their current relationship. You probably know these family-of-origin issues as “buttons”, those seemingly small things that get a big emotional reaction. By knowing where each other’s “buttons” are, and dealing with them in a compassionate way, you can often work through a situation rather than getting into a fight.
I use tools and theory from several different marital researchers and frame it all in family systems theory.